Category Archives: Abusive Relationships

Attack of the Killer Comment:

Protecting Yourself from Verbal Assaults

By Michelle Burford
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the March 2003 issue of
O, The Oprah Magazine

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It comes out of the blue—a catty remark, a veiled put-down, a blatant backstab. So, what’s the best defense against wolves in sheep’s clothing?

Near the top of my list of annoyances—right there under people who leave really long voice mails but don’t give a calback number—is a mega-peeve: Engaging in catfights. I don’t even like to think about them, so please allow me to boil my last near-rumble-in-the-ring down to short scenes. First: I find myself utterly bored, so I start a book club with friends. After three sessions of patchy participation, I throw out provocative questions just to crank up the debate. A week later, reports hit the girl-gossip chain that I’m a know-it-all who should be “dethroned.” I realize whose campaign this is (she and I have history) and chuck it in the bin marked: Ignore This. Until the meeting when, as I’m exiting my living room to refill the bowl of stale popcorn, Suspect Number One says (she thinks out of earshot), “Yes, please go—we could use one less smart-ass in the world.”

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Abusive Men: The Red Flags

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O, The Oprah Magazine | From the August 2004 issue of O
When Hedda Nussbaum was a young, single woman living with a roommate in a New York City brownstone, she heard a ruckus outside her building one night and peered out the window to see a neighbor in her bathrobe, refusing to go back inside until the police arrived.

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